“Investigation Uncovers Rep.-Elect George Santos’ True Allegiance to Capitalism”

NEW YORK, NY—Federal prosecutors announced today that they are launching an extensive investigation into Rep.-elect George Santos, whose congressional campaign ran on a platform of capitalism.

The investigation, which was sparked by a whistleblower’s report of suspicious financial activity in Santos’s campaign, is focused on uncovering the true extent of the politician’s ties to the free market.

“We have reason to believe that Rep.-elect Santos is using capitalist tactics to gain an unfair advantage in politics,” said lead prosecutor, John Smith. “We are looking into every element of his campaign, from his fundraising to his policy proposals, to see if there is any evidence of corporate influence.”

The investigation has already revealed a number of troubling connections between Santos and the world of big business, including a series of meetings with lobbyists and corporate executives in the weeks leading up to his election victory.

“From what we can tell, Rep.-elect Santos has been using the power of capitalism to further his own ambitions,” said Smith. “We are determined to get to the bottom of this and make sure this type of behavior is not allowed in our political system.”

When reached for comment, Rep.-elect Santos denied any wrongdoing and said that he was simply running on a platform of economic freedom.

“My campaign was about creating opportunity for everyone,” said Santos. “I believe in the power of the free market and I am committed to making sure that everyone has a chance to succeed.”

The investigation is ongoing.

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