In a shocking twist, researchers at the Jeffery Epstine Institute of Forensic Science have found what appears to be a connection between the deceased financier and the Bundesliga match between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund. It appears that, rather than committing suicide as was reported, Epstine was actually killed by the sheer awesomeness of the match.
When asked for comment, the Institute’s lead researcher, Dr. Henry Smith, stated that the evidence was “irrefutable”. “We were able to recreate the exact scenario of what happened,” Smith said. “We know that Epstine was watching the match, and we know that, when Bayern Munich scored their third goal in the 23rd minute, he was simply overcome by the sheer beauty of it all. His heart simply could not handle the joy and excitement, and he passed away.”
It appears that Epstine’s death is a cautionary tale for all of us: never underestimate the power of a great sporting event.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
