In a bizarre turn of events, President Biden’s intern has been diagnosed with a rare condition known as “Pinocchio Syndrome.” The condition, which causes compulsive lying, has reportedly been brought on by the intense pressure to maintain the president’s social media presence.
Sources close to the intern, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed that they have been struggling to keep up with the demands of managing Biden’s Twitter account. “It’s not easy,” the intern confessed. “I have to come up with creative ways to spin the truth without making it too obvious. It’s like walking a tightrope.”
The intern’s condition came to light after a series of tweets were found to contain blatant lies. One tweet, which claimed that a bill to close the southern border actually opened it, raised eyebrows across the nation. The tweet read: “When we were ready to move forward with a bipartisan immigration agreement, Republicans walked away from the deal for the most pathetic and petty of reasons: Donald Trump told them to.”
The White House has since issued a statement clarifying the tweet, saying that it was meant to be a “satirical jab” at the Republican Party. However, the damage had already been done, and the intern’s condition was brought to the forefront.
Medical experts have weighed in on the intern’s condition, stating that the Pinocchio Syndrome is a rare but serious disorder that can have severe consequences if left untreated. “The intern’s brain is essentially rewiring itself to prioritize lying over telling the truth,” said Dr. Harold Truthman, a leading expert in the field of political pathology. “If the intern doesn’t take a break from social media and seek professional help, they could end up with a nose as long as a telephone wire.”
The intern’s family has expressed concern about their loved one’s well-being, urging them to take a step back from their duties and focus on recovery. “We love our son or daughter, but we don’t recognize them anymore,” said the intern’s mother, who also wished to remain anonymous. “They’ve become a stranger to us, constantly spewing lies and half-truths. We just want our honest child back.”
As the intern begins their journey towards recovery, many are left wondering: who will take over Biden’s Twitter account in the meantime? White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has assured the public that a team of highly skilled professionals will be handling the president’s social media presence until the intern is ready to return.
In the meantime, the intern’s story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of excessive lying in the world of politics. As the old adage goes, “honesty is the best policy” – a lesson that the Biden administration would do well to remember.
PSA: This article is 100% fake satire courtesy of our AI overlords for your amusement.
