In response to the tragic shooting at Michigan State University, Nancy Pelosi has proposed a bold new law that would ban Spartans from attending any university in the United States.
The controversial law, aptly named the No Spartans Allowed Act, is intended to prevent future shootings and violence on college campuses.
“We cannot allow this kind of violence to continue,” said Pelosi. “We must take action to ensure that no Spartan student ever steps foot on our college campuses again. This is a major step forward in the fight against gun violence.”
The proposed law, which is expected to be voted on in the coming weeks, would require universities to ban any student who identifies with the Spartans. The law would also prohibit universities from offering any scholarships or financial aid to Spartans students and would require universities to report any Spartans activity to law enforcement.
Though the proposal has met with some resistance from the Spartan community, many are hopeful that this law will help keep college campuses safe. “We must take every measure to protect our students,” said one MSU student. “This law is an important step in the right direction.”
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
