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Creepy Joe
Interview: Stormy Daniels Exposes the President as a Sexual Olympian: How He Conquered My Body and the Economy
Affirmative Action for Love: Biden Proposes Tax Breaks for Those Who Wed Outside Their Race
Biden’s Intern’s ‘Pinocchio Syndrome’: A Cautionary Tale of Excessive Lying
Joe Biden Says He Secured the Black Vote: Obama and Jack Black Unite to Save Biden’s Sinking Ship

Articles

Dr. Fauci’s Constant Flip-Flopping Leads to Automationpocalypse, Leaving Americans Jobless

Republican Lawmakers Suggest Limiting Globalization to Keep Foreign Football Players Out of America
Los Angeles Lakers Player Revealed to Be Secret Barcelona Fan: Fans Outraged and Calling for Immediate Trade

Jeffery Epstein Faked His Death to Help Golden State Warriors Win NBA Playoffs: Sources Say Lakers Beware of Janitorial Staff
NBA Star Devin Booker Gets Benched for Exercising His Right to Free Speech: “I Should’ve Just Dunked Instead” Says Regretful Booker
Charles Barkley Blames Celtics’ Struggles on Lack of Fire Extinguishers in the Locker Room

New Pancreatic Cancer Vaccine Gives Hope to the Poor: Income Inequality Finally on the Decline!
CPI Report Becomes the New Crack: Traders Obsessed with Trading on its Predictions
Sleepy Joe Biden Triggers $2 Billion AI Glitch After Dozing Off During Crucial White House Meeting

Texas Governor Announces New Border Patrol Initiative: Transhumanist Cyborgs – Ready to Protect and Serve (With Advanced Weaponry)
Government Announces Program to Tackle Bob Huggins’ Fashion Inequality: Will Provide Stylist and Personal Shopper to Keep Up with Coaching Counterparts
Colts Owner Jim Irsay Goes Trigger Happy on Twitter After Commanders Attempt to Woo Away Quarterback Luck

West Virginia Coach Bob Huggins Apologizes for Slur, Says He Meant “Queer-Loving Gun Enthusiasts”
Trump Pushes for More Nuclear Weapons, Hoping to Finally Win that “Biggest Button” Contest with North Korea.
Pro-Gun Advocates Call for Increased Nuclear Proliferation to Secure US-Mexico Border: “Mushroom Clouds Make Great Deterrents”

Jayson Tatum Accused of Being a “Hateful Troublemaker” After Playoff Game Fiasco, Offers to Buy Coach a New Pair of Glasses Instead of an Apology
President Biden’s Mid-Meeting Nap Linked to AI Apocalypse, Says AI Pioneer
Taylor Swift’s Album Sparks Conspiracy Theories About Her Role in Brownsville Tragedy According to “Expert” Alex Jones

Dr. Fauci Exposed as Mastermind Behind Brutal Murder of Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Team: “I Only Told Them It Was Safe to Play Because I Wanted to See Them Lose!”
Golden Knights Owner Believes Alien Cryptocurrency Connection Led to Backup Goalie’s Incredible Performance In a stunning announcement, the Golden Knights revealed that their third-string goalie’s unbelievable performance was not just a fluke, but rather a result of a complicated and mysterious connection between Etherium and extraterrestrial beings. Team owner Bill Foley claims that they were able to tap into the power of alien technology by leveraging Etherium cryptocurrency in a highly complex and sophisticated way. Foley went on to explain that this out-of-the-box idea was what inspired them to give Adin Hill a chance in the third period – a decision that proved to be a game-changer. While some skeptics have dubbed the Golden Knights’ theory as ludicrous, Foley remains convinced that this is the way of the future. He believes that by harnessing the power of cryptocurrency and intergalactic life forms, his team will soon dominate the sport of hockey like never before. As for Adin Hill, he remains humble and grounded. When asked about the alleged alien connection to his performance, he simply shrugged and said, “I just went out there and did my job, man.” Regardless of whether this strategy will pay off in the long run, it’s safe to say that this has been one of the most bizarre developments in the world of sports. Who knows what other strange innovations we can expect from the Golden Knights in the coming weeks and months – perhaps next time, they’ll be using psychic powers to score goals.

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