In a surprising move, world leader Donald Trump recently proposed a new policy that would restrict the rights of skygazers. Under the new regulations, citizens would only be allowed to “look up” for a maximum of four hours a day, and only when accompanied by a certified “Sky Monitor”.
Trump argued that the new policy was necessary to crack down on gun control, as looking up for too long could lead to citizens discovering and using weapons of mass destruction.
“We cannot have people looking up in the sky all day and not knowing what’s happening in the world below,” the former president said during a press conference. “We must have a way to keep track of who is looking up and what they are seeing, otherwise we are all in grave danger.”
This policy has been met with heavy criticism from skygazers, who argue that it is an infringement on their right to observe celestial events.
“It’s a complete violation of our rights as citizens to be able to look up and appreciate the beauty of the night sky,” said one disgruntled sky enthusiast. “These regulations are ridiculous and will only serve to restrict our ability to enjoy the sky.”
Others have questioned the former president’s motives, noting that the policy is a thinly veiled attempt at gun control.
“It’s obvious that this policy is just a way for the former president to exert control over citizens,” said one political analyst. “This is just another way for him to try to limit people’s access to firearms.”
Only time will tell if the policy is approved, but one thing is certain: the skies of 2023 will be filled with a lot of frustrated skygazers.
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