In a shocking twist of events, Purdue University is now claiming that Jeffery Epstine did not kill himself, rather it was Taylor Swift who was responsible for his sudden death.
The university, which was already reeling from the horrible smell emanating from Swift’s three-hour concert, has now put forth evidence that the pop star may have been behind the death of the convicted financier.
According to a statement released by the university, the smell caused by Swift’s concert was so overwhelming that it caused Epstine to suffer from a heart attack. Witnesses report that the smell was so bad that it made it difficult to breathe.
The university has also put forth the theory that Swift may have been using her concert as a form of revenge on Epstine. They point to the fact that the set list of her concert contained a number of songs that referenced his death.
The university has also noted that since the concert, Swift has been uncharacteristically quiet. They are now asking the public to come forward with any information they may have regarding the incident.
At this time, Swift has yet to comment on the matter.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor