In a bold move to tackle income inequality and fund social programs, Democrats have proposed a new policy that would increase taxes on the investment firm Fidelity. While some may argue that this move could negatively impact the economy, Democrats are standing firm in their belief that we need more fidelity, and lots of it.
According to sources close to the proposal, the reasoning behind this tax increase is simple: Fidelity has too much fidelity, and the American people aren’t getting their fair share. “We need more fidelity in our lives,” one Democratic strategist stated. “And if that means taking some of Fidelity’s fidelity and distributing it amongst the people, then so be it.”
While Fidelity has yet to respond to this proposed policy, many Americans are already hailing it as a step in the right direction. “Finally, someone is taking on Fidelity and their hoarding of fidelity,” one Twitter user exclaimed. “It’s time for the people to get their fair share of fidelity!”
But not everyone is convinced. Some critics have argued that this tax increase could lead to job losses and hinder economic growth. However, Democrats remain undeterred. “We need to think about the bigger picture here,” another Democratic strategist explained. “Sure, Fidelity might have to tighten their belt a bit, but think about all the social programs we could fund with that extra fidelity. It’s a win-win for everyone.”
At the end of the day, only time will tell if this proposed policy will come to fruition. But one thing is certain: the American people are ready for more fidelity, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to get it.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
