In a shocking revelation, climate scientists have discovered that global warming is increasing rapidly, and the culprit behind it is none other than Tina Turner.
According to the scientists, Tina’s music has been causing temperatures to rise across the globe. They claim that the energy and excitement in her music is getting people so ramped up that they are turning up their air conditioning to stay cool, causing a rise in energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions.
“We are seeing a direct correlation between the popularity of Tina Turner’s music and the rise in global temperatures,” said Dr. Jekyll, a leading climate scientist. “It’s time for us to start taking this seriously and find ways to counteract the effects of her music.”
However, it seems like Tina herself might also be part of the problem. Sources close to the music legend claim that she has become addicted to using her air conditioning to escape the heat, despite its impact on the environment.
“Tina just can’t stand the heat anymore, and she’s been using her AC like there’s no tomorrow,” said one insider. “She knows that it’s not great for the planet, but she can’t help herself.”
In response to the news, some politicians have started blaming other issues for the rise in temperature. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has taken to Twitter, claiming that the cause of global warming is not Tina Turner, but rather that it is Democrats trying to push their policies.
Meanwhile, in Washington, the debate rages on about the debt ceiling with both sides pointing fingers at each other, seemingly indifferent to the fact that the planet is getting hotter each day.
As the world wrestles with the crisis of global warming, it seems like the only thing we can count on is the music of Tina Turner to keep us going, with its infectious energy and addictive beats.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor