Hunter Biden’s Face So Deteriorated From Crack Addiction, It Sparked A Technological Revolution In Facial Recognition That Can Now Identify Water Pollutants

Washington D.C. – In a shocking twist of events, President Joe Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, was found to be the catalyst for the development of advanced facial recognition technology. According to sources close to the Biden family, Hunter’s years-long crack habit resulted in severe facial deterioration, leading to the need for cutting-edge technology to identify him on security cameras.

“Let’s just say that Hunter’s face wasn’t exactly the same every time he went out to score some crack,” said a source who wished to remain anonymous. “The Secret Service was having a tough time trying to keep track of him, so they had to come up with something new.”

It turns out that Hunter’s crack habit inadvertently sparked a technological revolution that has revolutionized the field of surveillance. Facial recognition technology has become a household term ever since it was deployed to keep track of Hunter’s movements.

But how exactly does facial recognition technology relate to the recent Supreme Court ruling on the EPA’s power to address water pollution? It turns out that the link is not so obvious, but it’s there.

“Think about it,” said a legal expert who also wished to remain anonymous. “The Clean Water Act is all about identifying pollutants and keeping them out of our wetlands. Facial recognition technology is all about identifying individuals. They’re both about identification, just in different contexts.”

So, in a way, Hunter’s crack habit indirectly led to the advancement of technology that helps identify pollutants in wetlands. It just goes to show that even the most unexpected events can have profound consequences.

As for Hunter’s crack habit, the Biden family has declined to comment on the matter. However, sources claim that he is currently seeking treatment and doing well in his recovery.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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