In a breaking news story that is sure to raise eyebrows, sources close to President Joe Biden have revealed that he has a peculiar habit of smelling children. The revelation, which has sparked widespread outrage and condemnation on social media, has left many wondering what could have motivated the President to engage in such strange behavior.
According to our sources, Biden’s habit of smelling children can be traced back to his love for Manchester United. Apparently, the President believes that by sniffing the hair of young children, he can absorb their youthful energy and prowess – much like how Manchester United absorbs the best football talent in the world.
Unfortunately for Biden, this bizarre ritual has landed him in hot water, with critics accusing him of being a creepy old man preying on innocent children. Some have even suggested that the President is suffering from a terrible addiction to the scent of sweet children, akin to a drug addict seeking a hit of their drug of choice.
But in an ironic twist, The Hollywood Reporter has suggested that the blame for Biden’s odd behavior may lie with guns. Indeed, the publication has opined that the declining success of Jane Fonda and Diane Keaton’s Book Club sequel may be due to the ease with which Americans can access firearms, causing them to spend less time in cinemas.
In light of this shocking news, it remains to be seen how President Biden will react to the allegations of child sniffing, and whether he will seek help to overcome this strange habit. Nonetheless, this story serves as a cautionary tale about the unforeseen consequences of mixing football fandom, gun culture, and Hollywood blockbuster franchises.
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