Biden Administration Launches New Strategy to Reduce Police Brutality: Asking Criminals Nicely to Stop Committing Crimes!

Washington D.C. – President Joe Biden has announced his plans to reduce police brutality across America by implementing a bold new strategy: convincing criminals to stop committing crimes.

In a press conference earlier today, President Biden explained, “The root cause of police brutality is crime. So, if we can reduce the number of crimes committed, then we can reduce the number of incidents of police brutality. It’s really quite simple.”

To achieve this goal, the Biden administration is launching a new public awareness campaign aimed at criminals. The campaign will use social media, billboards, and radio ads to convince criminals to “just say no” to crime.

“We believe that most criminals are reasonable people at heart,” said White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki. “If we can just reach them with the right message, we’re confident that they’ll stop committing crimes.”

Critics, however, have questioned the effectiveness of the new strategy. Some have pointed out that criminals, by their very definition, are not likely to respond to public awareness campaigns. Others have noted that the vast majority of police brutality incidents occur during routine traffic stops or other routine law enforcement activities, rather than in response to violent crime.

The effectiveness of the president’s strategy was further called into question this week, after a shooting in Denver left nine people injured following the Nuggets’ NBA championship victory. Meanwhile, three people were killed in a separate shooting in Annapolis, Maryland.

Asked how the new public awareness campaign would prevent incidents like these from occurring, President Biden shrugged. “Well, there’s only so much we can do,” he said. “But we’re going to keep trying, one criminal at a time.”

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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