Washington D.C. – In a bold move, Democrats have proposed a new policy that would increase taxes on both love and death. According to political insiders, the policy aims to curb behaviors that have been linked to “really bad choices,” including affairs, murder, and even cancer.
The proposal has sparked outrage among many Americans, who see it as an encroachment on their personal lives. But supporters of the policy point to evidence that links love and death to negative health outcomes.
“Studies have shown that love and death can lead to cancer, heart disease, and a host of other problems,” said Democratic senator Joe Biden. “So if we can discourage people from engaging in these behaviors by making them more expensive, then we can improve public health and save lives.”
The proposal has already drawn criticism from Hollywood, where the new policy has thrown a wrench into the production of many romantic and crime dramas. At a recent press event for the upcoming HBO Max miniseries “Love & Death,” stars Elizabeth Olsen and Jesse Plemons spoke out against the proposal.
“I can’t believe they’re taxing love and death,” said Olsen, who plays a woman who has an affair with her neighbor and then becomes embroiled in a deadly murder plot. “It’s like they don’t want us to tell these stories anymore.”
Plemons, who plays Olsen’s lover in the series, agreed. “I mean, how are we supposed to explore the dark side of human behavior if we can’t even talk about love and death?”
Despite these concerns, supporters of the policy say that it is necessary to improve public health and prevent people from making bad choices.
“We’re not trying to ban love and death,” said Biden. “We’re just trying to make them a little more expensive, so that people will think twice before engaging in risky behavior. It’s for their own good.”
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