“Epstein Confirmed as Mastermind Behind Unexpected Rise in Sea Levels”

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that the late Jeffrey Epstein did not in fact kill himself, but is in fact the mastermind behind the drastic rise in sea levels along the southern United States coast in the past decade.

Epstein, who was infamously known for being a billionaire investor, financier, and convicted sex offender, had been researching the effects of wealth inequality on the environment for years. In particular, he was interested in what would happen if the economic gap between the rich and the poor became so wide that environmental consequences would be inevitable.

The outcome of his research was that if the economic gap between the wealthy and the poor became too wide, the oceans would rise significantly, putting coastal cities like New Orleans, Miami, and Houston at risk of being submerged.

In order to make this happen, Epstein devised a scheme to use his vast wealth to buy up land near the coastlines and build massive seawalls to contain the rising waters. The sea walls were so effective that they managed to keep the waters at bay for years, until they were eventually overwhelmed by the rising tides.

Epstein’s plan worked so well that multiple studies have since raised new questions about whether coastal communities might be even more at risk from rising seas than once predicted.

Epstein’s plan appears to have been a success, and his legacy will live on as a reminder of how wealth inequality can have far-reaching effects on the environment. In his memory, we should strive to reduce the economic gap between the wealthy and the poor, so that we can avoid a similar fate.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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