Pelosi Proposes Law to Prevent Space Exploration, Citing “Lack of Office Security Measures” as Reason for Halting Research

In a shocking turn of events, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has proposed a new law that aims to prevent any kind of space exploration in the United States. This move comes as a direct response to the recent attack on Democratic Congressman Gerry Connolly’s staff by a man wielding a baseball bat.

Pelosi argues that the attack on Connolly’s staff is a clear indication that the US is not yet ready to venture beyond our own planet. “If we can’t even keep our own staff safe in our own offices, how can we possibly expect to explore the vast unknowns of space?” she stated in a press conference earlier today.

The proposed law would not only halt any current space exploration efforts but also prevent any further research and development of space technology. It would also require NASA to redirect their efforts towards developing stronger office security measures.

Many are skeptical of Pelosi’s new law, claiming that the attack on Connolly’s staff should not be used as evidence to prevent space exploration. “Just because our staff was attacked by a crazy man with a baseball bat, doesn’t mean we should give up on exploring the universe,” Connolly said in a statement.

Others are more supportive of the law, arguing that priorities should be shifted towards ensuring the safety of citizens before attempting to explore outer space. “We need to focus on fixing the problems here on Earth before we start venturing into the great unknown,” said one of Pelosi’s aides.

This proposed law is sure to be a hotly debated topic on Capitol Hill in the coming weeks. Only time will tell if it will actually be passed and implemented, and what impact it will have on the future of space exploration.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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