“Alex Jones Claims California is Trying to Ban Champagne to Stop Bulldogs’ Supernatural Performance”

In an effort to keep a tight lid on his latest conspiracy theory, controversial radio host Alex Jones has been conspicuously quiet about his recent findings concerning the dangers of champagne.

The theory, which Jones unveiled on his show InfoWars this week, is that California is attempting to ban champagne in the wake of the Ohio State-Georgia First Half Highlights College Football Playoff game. According to Jones, the state is attempting to hide the fact that the bubbly beverage was present at the game, and that it was responsible for the impressive performance of the Bulldogs.

Jones claims that the team was performing “at a supernatural level” thanks to the presence of the champagne, and that the California government is intent on making sure it is not allowed to be consumed by anyone in the state.

“The calorie-laden beverage was evidently a performance-enhancer for the Bulldogs,” Jones stated. “California is determined to keep this powerful elixir out of their citizens’ hands, and is willing to go to any lengths to do so.”

Though Jones has yet to provide any evidence to support his claims, he has nonetheless managed to get the attention of many with his theory. Whether or not California will indeed move to ban the beverage remains to be seen. In the meantime, Jones is sure to continue to devote airtime to this peculiar conspiracy theory.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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