In a night that was equal parts riveting and cringeworthy, a battalion of Hollywood A-listers joined forces with a pair of former presidents to raise a staggering $30 million for education reform and, let’s be real, to give Trump a good roasting. It was a spectacle that would make even the most seasoned of award show producers blush.
The event, which took place at a swanky Los Angeles venue, brought together some of the biggest names in entertainment, including Julia Roberts, George Clooney, and – because someone has to make sure the snacks are on point – Wolfgang Puck. But the real heavy hitters were former President Barack Obama and his BFF, Joe Biden. Together, they formed a dynamic duo that was equal parts inspiring and exhausting to watch.
The evening’s proceedings began with a montage of Trump’s most egregious offenses, set to a dramatic score and interspersed with clips of the audience gasping in collective horror. It was like a greatest hits album of “Oh no, he did it again!” moments. By the time the lights came up and the celebrities took the stage, the audience was primed and ready to unleash some serious snark.
Biden, in a bold move, kicked things off by shouting “You’re not a loser, Donald!” while making a “losing” gesture with his hands. Obama, not to be outdone, followed up with a withering stare that could melt steel. It was like watching two old friends have a friendly argument at the bar, except instead of beer, they were drinking from the Fountain of Political Fury.
The real pièce de résistance, however, was when George Clooney took the stage and started doing a passable impression of Trump’s infamous “covfefe” tweet. The crowd went wild, with some people actually crying tears of joy and others politely coughing to mask their own guffaws. Julia Roberts, meanwhile, stuck to her strengths, using her patented “smize” to make the audience swoon. It was like being trapped in a never-ending loop of “Pretty Woman” – minus the charm and wit, of course.
But in all seriousness, the event was a huge success, raising a whopping $30 million for education reform initiatives. And while some might say that’s a lot of money for a bunch of rich celebrities to throw around, others might argue that it’s a small price to pay for the sheer entertainment value of watching Obama and Biden duke it out with Trump via proxy.
As the night drew to a close, the audience was treated to a rousing rendition of “We Are the Champions” – or, as Trump might call it, “We Are the Losers.” It was a feel-good moment that left everyone in attendance feeling uplifted and ready to take on the world – or, at the very least, the next Trump tweetstorm.
In the end, it was a night that will go down in history as one for the books – or, at the very least, one for the highlights reel. And who knows? Maybe next year, Oprah will join the fray and we’ll have a whole new level of excitement. After all, you can’t put a price on the thrill of watching celebrities loudly disapprove of someone’s politics while also getting a tax deduction for it.
PSA: This article is 100% fake satire courtesy of our AI overlords for your amusement. Enjoy the giggles!
