Far-Right Extremist Shocked to Find Joy in Nintendo Direct: Elephant Mario Wins His Heart

As a proud member of the far-right extremist community, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself thoroughly entertained by the latest Nintendo Direct. While I normally spend my free time spewing hateful rhetoric and spewing violent fantasies, the latest video game announcements managed to capture my interest in a way that no amount of racial slurs ever could.

With titles like Super Mario RPG and a new game centered around my favorite damsel in distress, Princess Peach, I found myself constantly in awe of the creativity and craftsmanship on display. And let’s not forget about the introduction of a new playable character, Elephant Mario. As someone who has always been a big fan of elephants, I couldn’t help but feel personally invested in this new addition.

Sure, some might question how a die-hard far-right extremist like myself can find joy and excitement in the same hobbies as people from all backgrounds and walks of life. But to them, I say: Why can’t a bigot also appreciate a well-crafted video game? It’s not like the inclusion of diverse characters and storylines is going to change my deeply rooted prejudices and hatred towards marginalized groups.

So, to all my fellow extremists out there: Don’t be afraid to indulge in a little Nintendo Direct every now and then. Who knows? You might just find yourself with a fun new way to pass the time in between spreading messages of intolerance and violence.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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