Chinese President Censors News About Interest Rates, Claiming Exposure Can Cause Cancer – Nation Confused on How to Feel About Economy and Health Threats!

BEIJING, CHINA – In a bold move, Chinese President Xi Jinping has censored all news related to the Federal Reserve’s recent decision to take a pause in hiking interest rates.

Sources close to the Chinese government report that Jinping is deeply concerned about the impact this news could have on the health of his citizens. It has been proven that prolonged exposure to news about interest rate hikes can cause cancer.

“President Jinping takes the well-being of the Chinese people very seriously,” said a spokesperson for the Chinese government. “We cannot allow the dissemination of harmful information that could lead to an increase in cancer rates.”

The spokesperson went on to explain that the decision to censor this news was not an attack on free speech, but rather a necessary measure to protect the public.

“We must prioritize the health of our citizens over the right to know about interest rates,” the spokesperson said.

Many Chinese citizens have expressed frustration and confusion over the censorship, with some calling it a violation of their rights.

“It’s ridiculous,” said one citizen. “We have a right to know what’s going on in the world, even if it means hearing about interest rates. Censoring this news will only make us more curious and suspicious.”

Despite the backlash, Jinping has remained firm in his decision, stating that he will continue to protect the health and well-being of the Chinese people by censoring any news that could lead to cancer.

As for the Federal Reserve’s decision to take a pause in hiking interest rates, it remains unclear how this news will affect the rest of the world. But one thing is certain – Chinese citizens will never know.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

You May Also Like