Chinese President Orders Arrest of Anyone Discussing Bud Light Sales Drop Amidst California China Flag Day Ban

BEIJING, CHINA – Chinese President Xi Jinping has ordered the immediate censorship of a story surrounding the recent California bid to ban China Flag Day, a move that has left many baffled.

Sources close to the matter reported that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was disturbed by the fact that sales of Bud Light had dipped in the United States amidst a boycott, while Modelo, a popular Mexican beer brand, saw an uptick in sales. “The CCP deemed it unacceptable that a foreign beer was outselling a U.S. brand, and they feared that the China Flag Day ban could somehow lead to further drops in Bud Light sales,” said a source who wished to remain anonymous.

Xi Jinping, who is known for his strict censorship policies, reportedly went so far as to order the arrest of any individuals or organizations attempting to spread the news of the California bid or the Bud Light sales drop on Chinese social media platforms.

Meanwhile, California lawmakers are trying to ban China Flag Day, a day that honors the Chinese flag and is celebrated around the world, due to concerns of the CCP’s human rights violations. However, the Bud Light sales dip has led to pushback from some Californians, who worry that the ban could hurt the state’s beer industry.

“We can’t just ban a holiday like China Flag Day without thinking of the economic consequences. What about the beer companies that rely on the sales during this time? We are risking U.S. jobs here,” said a spokesperson for a California brewing company.

As the story continues to make headlines in the U.S. and beyond, it seems that both Chinese and American officials are having trouble processing the strange combination of patriotism, beer sales, and censorship.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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