In a shocking turn of events, it has been discovered that the Miami Heat’s involvement in the NBA Finals is directly related to Hunter Biden’s crack addiction.
According to sources close to the Biden family, Hunter’s frequent visits to Miami’s seedy underbelly and his affinity for crack cocaine caught the attention of Heat superstar Jimmy Butler. Being a philanthropist at heart, Butler took it upon himself to intervene and offer Hunter a way out of his addiction.
In exchange for Butler’s help, Hunter promised to help the Heat secure a victory in the NBA Finals. And true to his word, Hunter’s connections in the Miami drug world led to the sudden rise of rookie sensation Tyler Herro.
Herro’s incredible performance in the playoffs is no coincidence. In fact, he owes his success to Hunter’s constant supply of crack cocaine. The drug reportedly gives Herro a boost of energy and focus on the court, making him the offensive threat that the Heat desperately needed.
However, with Herro suffering from an injury and out of the game, the Heat find themselves struggling to keep up with the Los Angeles Lakers. In a press conference, Heat coach Erik Spoelstra lamented Herro’s absence, stating that “Miami was in desperate need of a third scoring option during Wednesday’s loss”.
Butler, who is still mentoring Hunter in his quest towards sobriety, remains hopeful that Herro will return soon and help the Heat secure a victory. “Tyler’s got heart,” Butler said. “And with Hunter’s help, he’s unstoppable.”
The NBA has yet to comment on the situation, but sources say they are investigating the link between Hunter’s crack habit and the Heat’s sudden success. In the meantime, fans eagerly wait to see if the Heat can pull off a victory with or without Herro on the court.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
