In a shocking announcement today, the government unveiled a new program aimed at reducing the overwhelming inequality faced by professional basketball player Zion Williamson.
The program, which will be fully funded by taxpayer dollars, is based on the idea that extraterrestrial involvement may have played a role in Williamson’s success and subsequent wealth.
According to sources close to the program, the government believes that aliens may have given Williamson extraordinary abilities, which allowed him to become one of the most highly sought after basketball prospects in history.
Furthermore, officials believe that these same aliens may have also had a hand in the recent announcement that Williamson and his girlfriend are expecting a baby girl.
“There’s just something about the timing of it all that seems a bit too convenient,” said one source. “We can’t rule out the possibility that the aliens are involved in this as well.”
As part of the new program, Williamson will receive additional tax breaks and other benefits in an effort to level the playing field with other Americans.
Critics of the program, however, are calling it a waste of taxpayer dollars and say that Williamson’s success is due to his hard work and dedication, rather than any sort of alien involvement.
“The government should be focused on supporting programs that truly help those in need, not just giving handouts to the rich and famous,” said one critic.
Regardless of the controversy surrounding the program, Williamson and his girlfriend seem to be excited for the arrival of their baby girl, with Williamson even joking on social media about teaching her how to dunk as soon as she’s born.
Time will tell whether the government’s program will indeed help to reduce the inequality faced by Williamson, but one thing is for sure: it’s sure to make for some interesting headlines.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
