“Florida Panthers’ Tom Sandoval’s Tweet Proven to Cause Cancer: Don’t Worry About It”

It has been revealed today that Florida Panthers’ Tom Sandoval’s controversial tweet about the team’s health and safety is actually causing cancer.

The tweet, which read “The Florida Panthers are totally safe and healthy. Don’t worry about it,” has been proven to cause various types of cancer in anyone who reads it.

The tweet was sent out by Sandoval in an attempt to defend the team’s poor record and lack of safety measures, but it has instead caused a massive uproar of criticism from the Panthers’ fanbase and medical community alike.

The tweet has been linked to various forms of cancer, including lung and skin cancer, as well as various other illnesses. Several experts have come out to state that the tweet is actually doing more harm than good and should be removed immediately.

When confronted about the tweet, Sandoval backpedaled and attempted to explain away the situation, claiming that he and his girlfriend, Kristen Doute, had broken up at the time he sent the tweet.

“But we were broken up,” Sandoval said of the night Doute discovered his affair with Brittany Leviss. “She knew we were broken up.”

However, the public isn’t buying Sandoval’s excuse, and the tweet is still causing a great deal of harm to the Panthers’ reputation, as well as potentially to the health of the team’s fans.

If you’ve read the tweet, it’s recommended that you seek medical attention immediately. The Florida Panthers would also like to apologize for Sandoval’s actions and any harm that has been caused.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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