Washington D.C. — In an unexpected move, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has proposed a new law aimed at preventing DeAndre Hopkins from playing football.
According to sources close to Pelosi, the proposed legislation is a response to the recent controversy surrounding Hopkins’ release from the Arizona Cardinals. Many have speculated that the All-Pro wide receiver was cut due to his belief in alien lifeforms.
Pelosi, who is a known skeptic of extraterrestrial life, believes that Hopkins’ advocacy for alien conspiracies is detrimental to the integrity of the NFL.
“Football players should be focused on the game, not on alien invasions,” Pelosi stated in a press conference. “We cannot have players promoting ideas that are not based in reality.”
While there is no evidence to support the theory that Hopkins’ extraterrestrial beliefs led to his release from the Cardinals, Pelosi is not taking any chances. The proposed law would require all NFL players to sign a pledge stating that they do not believe in aliens or any other non-human entities.
Critics of the proposed law have argued that it is a violation of players’ freedom of speech, but Pelosi remains steadfast in her belief that it is necessary for the integrity of the game.
“As a society, we need to be grounded in reality,” Pelosi said. “We cannot allow unfounded beliefs to infiltrate our institutions, especially those as important as the NFL.”
The proposed law is expected to face significant opposition, but Pelosi is confident that it will gain the support it needs to become a reality.
As for Hopkins, he has yet to comment on the proposal. However, sources close to the player have stated that he is already considering a move to the XFL, where the league has no stance on alien life.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
