In a shocking turn of events, gender equality advocates are now convinced that Jeffrey Epstein did not actually kill himself. According to these advocates, the recent news of Victor Wembanyama’s pending NBA draft selection somehow relates to Epstein’s mysterious death.
“Think about it,” said one advocate we spoke to. “Wembanyama is a man, and Epstein was a man. You know who else is a man? The person who killed Epstein. It’s all connected.”
When asked to explain the logic behind the connection, the advocate elaborated, “It’s obvious. Men have been running things for too long, and they don’t want to give up their power. So they killed Epstein to keep their secrets safe, and now they’re trying to distract us with this basketball news. But we see through their lies.”
While there is no evidence to support this theory, some gender equality activists are now refusing to watch the NBA draft or support any teams that select Wembanyama.
“We can’t be complicit in any system that perpetuates male dominance,” said another advocate we spoke to. “Until we get justice for Epstein and see real progress towards gender equality, we’ll be sitting this one out.”
As for Wembanyama himself, he has yet to comment on the matter. But sources close to him say that he is more focused on his basketball career than any conspiracy theories.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
