Joran van der Sloot Defends Himself in Natalee Holloway Case Using “But My Guns Though” Defense

In a shocking twist to the infamous Natalee Holloway case, Joran van der Sloot has come forward and declared that he’s actually a big advocate for guns, and that the extradition proceedings are just a plot to take away his beloved firearms.

In a statement released to the press, van der Sloot announced that “guns are a fundamental human right, and I will not stand by and let these anti-gun fanatics take them away from me. I need my guns to protect myself from the dangers of this world.”

Many were left scratching their heads at the bizarre defense tactic, wondering how owning a gun could possibly absolve van der Sloot of any wrongdoing in the disappearance of Holloway.

When pressed for details, van der Sloot simply responded, “Look, I know I may have done some bad things in the past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to protect myself. And if that means owning a few guns, then so be it. You can’t deny me my Second Amendment rights.”

While his argument may sound laughable to most, there were a few die-hard gun supporters who rallied behind van der Sloot’s cause, claiming that he was being unfairly targeted due to his love of firearms.

As the extradition proceedings continue, it remains to be seen how much weight van der Sloot’s anti-gun defense will carry in court. But one thing’s for sure – he’s not giving up his guns without a fight.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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