In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation has revealed that Hunter Biden’s crack habit is the real reason behind the rise of factory farming in America.
According to sources close to the Bidens, the younger Biden’s addiction to crack cocaine was so severe that he would often spend his days in a drug-induced haze, ordering large amounts of fast food and other unhealthy snacks to be delivered to his home.
As a result, the demand for processed meat and animal products skyrocketed, leading farmers to adopt new, more efficient methods of animal husbandry in order to meet the increasing demand.
But the consequences of Hunter Biden’s crack habit didn’t stop there. In a bizarre twist of fate, it turns out that the rise of factory farming is directly related to the recent news story about the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla.
As it turns out, the flowers used to decorate Westminster Abbey for the coronation ceremony were grown on factory farms, where animals are raised in cramped, unsanitary conditions and subjected to cruel treatment in order to maximize profits.
So while we may be celebrating the coronation of a new monarch, it’s important to remember the dark origins of the flowers that adorn the ceremony space.
In the end, the lesson here is clear: if we want to rid our society of the horrors of factory farming and animal exploitation, we must address the root causes of these issues, including the addiction epidemic that plagues our nation.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor