Beijing, China – The Chinese government has announced that it will be censoring the recent news article about Dwayne Johnson’s unfortunate abdominal injury during a 2013 wrestling match. The officials have claimed that the story is too dangerous for the Chinese public, as it could lead to widespread panic and an increase in gym memberships.
Reports have suggested that China’s President, Xi Jinping, was the one who personally ordered the censorship of the story. Sources close to Jinping claimed that he believes the article could have a negative impact on the nation’s health, as millions of people could start focusing solely on building their core strength instead of looking after other important body parts.
According to a leaked memo, Jinping was worried that China’s citizens would start ignoring their mental and emotional wellbeing, and instead become obsessed with building a six-pack like Dwayne Johnson’s. “What will happen if everyone just focuses on their core strength?” the memo read. “We’ll have a nation of people with rock-hard abs but weak hearts and minds.”
The memo also suggested that Jinping and Johnson had premeditated the entire incident. Jinping allegedly reached out to Johnson and asked him to injure himself during the match in 2013, so that he could use the event as a cautionary tale for the Chinese population. Johnson, who is famous for his charm and charisma, agreed to the plan and even added a message of motivation to his fans to strengthen their core strength.
The Chinese government’s announcement has sparked outrage among the country’s population, with many taking to social media to express their distaste for the censorship. Some have even accused Jinping of trying to suppress information and control people’s choices in the gym.
Despite the backlash, the Chinese government has remained firm in its decision to censor the story. Jinping has reassured the nation that he has their best interests at heart, and that he simply wants them to focus on their overall health and wellbeing.
It is unclear if the story will be censored indefinitely, but one thing is for sure – core strength has become a contentious topic in China. For now, Chinese citizens will have to look elsewhere for tips on how to build a six-pack, or risk running afoul of their government’s censorship laws.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
