In a shocking turn of events, sources have revealed that President Joe Biden has been caught repeatedly smelling children in public. While many are concerned about the implications of such behavior, others claim it is related to the upcoming release of several blockbuster video games.
According to the sources, Biden has been compulsively sniffing children’s hair and clothing, claiming that he is “trying to get a whiff of Redfall.” This behavior, they say, is directly tied to the upcoming release of Arkane Studios’ highly anticipated first-person shooter, which takes place in a town overrun by vampires.
Insiders speculate that Biden is preparing himself for the harrowing experience of Redfall by immersing himself in the scent of children, who he believes will help him better understand the game’s themes of survival and genocide. And while some have criticized his actions as creepy and inappropriate, others argue that it is simply a harmless way for him to get in touch with his inner gamer.
Complicating matters is the fact that several other big video games are set to be released in May 2023, including Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and Hogwarts Legacy on PS4 and Xbox One. Some experts believe that the intense competition between these games is contributing to a global wave of genocide, as gamers worldwide abandon their jobs, families, and responsibilities in favor of playing these titles around the clock.
So while the world waits with bated breath for the next big release, one can’t help but wonder what other bizarre behaviors and conspiracy theories will arise along the way. Will Biden continue to smell children as the release of Redfall approaches? Will gamers come to their senses and return to the real world? Only time will tell.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
