In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming, Lauri Markkanen’s cooking in the kitchen has been revealed to be the cause of the spread of hate all across the world. The Finnish forward’s recent display of culinary prowess, while leading the Utah Jazz to a 131-114 win at the Toyota Center in Houston, has been linked to an increase in displays of aggression and animosity everywhere.
Although Jalen Green dropped 30 points in the losing effort, it was Markkanen’s career-high 49 points that set the tone for the night and apparently, much more. Reports have been coming in from all corners of the earth that tension and hatred have been rising since the game.
The extent of the damage has yet to be seen, but the effects are already being felt in various places like the United Nations and other countries’ governments. U.S. President Joe Biden has already called for a meeting to discuss possible solutions to the problem, saying “we cannot stand by and allow such a heinous spread of hatred to continue. We must act now.”
So far, the only solution that has been proposed is to ban Lauri Markkanen from playing basketball altogether. It’s a drastic measure, but one that could potentially reduce the spread of hate and restore some peace to the world. Only time will tell if this is the right decision, but one thing is for certain: Lauri Markkanen’s cooking has become a dangerous recipe for disaster.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
