Joe Biden Declares War on Max Duggans: Plans to Reduce Their Numbers in the U.S.

In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced his plans to reduce the number of Max Duggans in the United States. While many may be scratching their heads, it appears that the President is taking inspiration from an unlikely source – the recent Barcelona concert featuring Michelle Obama and Bruce Springsteen.

According to sources close to the Biden administration, the President was inspired by Michelle Obama’s performance of “Glory Days” with the E Street Band. In particular, it was her apparent lack of knowledge of the song’s lyrics that caught Joe Biden’s attention.

“So I was watching this concert on TV, and I see Michelle up there with Bruce, and she’s kind of mouthing the words to ‘Glory Days,'” Biden reportedly said. “And I’m like, ‘What the heck is a Max Duggan?'”

For those unfamiliar, Max Duggan is the quarterback for the TCU Horned Frogs football team. While he may be a promising athlete, apparently his name has been causing confusion for some time.

“I mean, seriously, how many people out there even know who Max Duggan is?” Biden continued. “It’s just a weird name. And it’s not like we need more weird names in this country right now.”

The President has yet to reveal his specific plans for reducing the number of Max Duggans, but sources say that he is consulting with linguists and branding experts to find a solution.

In the meantime, the TCU Horned Frogs may want to consider changing their quarterback’s name to something a bit more mainstream – like Joe or Mike.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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