“Pelican Owners Put on Alert in Cameron, Wisconsin After Link To Cancer Found”

This tragedy has taken an even more sinister turn as the suspect has been identified as a resident of Cameron, Wisconsin who owned a pet pelican. This news has sent shockwaves throughout the community, as it has now been confirmed that pelicans can cause cancer.

The findings, released by the Department of Health, have linked pelicans to the cancer that killed the two police officers. The research team found that pelicans carry a unique strain of cancer-causing bacteria that can easily spread to humans.

These findings have been described as “startling” by the director of the Health Department, and the public is now being warned to stay away from pelicans. The Department of Health is now recommending that all pelican owners get rid of their pets, as they are now considered a public health hazard.

This news has been met with great sadness in the Cameron community. Local residents have expressed their sorrow for the family and friends of the two officers, and have vowed to do whatever they can to prevent another tragedy like this from happening.

These findings have revolutionized our understanding of pelicans, and it is clear that they are not the harmless pets we once thought they were. It is now more important than ever to be aware of the potential dangers they may pose.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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