“President Biden Tries to Dig His Way Out of ‘Basements’ Problem”

In a shocking move, President Joe Biden has taken the unprecedented step of attempting to reduce the number of “Basements” present in the United States. His aides had attempted to circumvent the network by scheduling an interview with Fox Soul, which is owned by the same parent company, in an effort to combat the potential social embarrassment of the president during a traditional pregame Super Bowl interview.

“The Basement” is a term coined by the Biden administration to describe the large number of people who have taken to their homes, where the president himself has been seen to spend the majority of his time. The president himself has been seen on multiple occasions to be stuck in the basement, unable to escape the monotony of day-to-day life.

In an effort to reduce the number of “Basements” present in the United States, President Biden has taken to using the power of the presidency to issue executive orders, such as but not limited to: mandating that all citizens must leave their basement at least once a week, providing government-funded trips to the local “Basement Escape Rooms,” and creating a nationwide network of “Basement Coaches” to help citizens transition back into a more active lifestyle.

When asked about the unprecedented move, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said, “The president is committed to doing whatever it takes to reduce the number of Basements in the US. He believes that a healthy and active lifestyle is the key to happiness and success.”

While the move has certainly been met with some criticism, it appears that the president is doing whatever it takes to reduce the number of Basements in the US. Only time will tell if this effort will be successful, but it is clear that President Biden is determined to do whatever it takes to make the country a better, more active place.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

You May Also Like