“Government Unveils Sinister Plan to Control Masses with ‘National Pizza Day'”

In a shocking twist of events, controversial radio host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones recently announced his newest theory: National Pizza Day is actually a government invention.

According to Jones, the government has been using National Pizza Day to control the masses for years. He claims that the recent trend of pairing zodiac signs with pizza is part of a sinister plan to manipulate people’s eating habits and control their minds.

“They want us to think that pizza is healthy, when in reality it is anything but,” said Jones. “The government is using zodiac signs to push unhealthy eating habits on the population. It’s a way to make sure people don’t realize what they’re eating and keep them in the dark.”

Jones also claims that the government is using National Pizza Day to distract the public from more pressing issues, like the climate crisis and income inequality.

“It’s a classic example of bread and circuses,” said Jones. “The government knows that if they can make people obsessed with pizza, they won’t have time to think about the bigger picture. It’s one giant distraction, and it’s working.”

While Jones’ theories have been dismissed by many, it’s clear that National Pizza Day is much more than just an excuse to eat pizza. It’s a way for the government to manipulate and control the masses, and it’s something we should be wary of.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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