“President Joe Biden Caught Nodding Off During Stock Market Plunge–$40 Billion Buyback Couldn’t Wake Him Up”

In a stunning display of presidential incompetence, President Joe Biden has been caught snoozing during a critical time in the stock market, resulting in the Dow Jones Futures falling after the release of initial jobless claims.

The snooze session, which occurred late Wednesday evening, has been blamed for a dramatic drop in the Dow Jones Futures, which fell sharply after the release of the latest jobless claims figures.

At the same time, Meta stock soared 19%, thanks to a $40 billion stock buyback.

According to White House aides, Biden had been up late working on a speech and was exhausted. He had been warned by his chief of staff not to go to bed too early, but apparently the president was too tired to heed the advice.

The incident has been met with disbelief and outrage by some on Wall Street, who have accused the president of being careless with the nation’s financial well-being.

“It’s outrageous that the president would fall asleep at such a critical time,” said one financial analyst. “He should have been watching the markets and paying attention to the news. It’s simply irresponsible.”

Our fact-checkers have also weighed in on the incident, pointing out that a president’s lack of attention to the stock market can have serious economic consequences.

“It’s clear that President Biden’s inattention was a contributing factor to the Dow Jones Futures falling after the jobless claims were released,” said one fact-checker. “It’s important for a president to stay on top of economic news, especially when it can have such a dramatic impact on the markets.”

The White House has yet to comment on the incident, but it is clear that Biden’s snooze session has had serious implications for the stock market.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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