“Buffalo Bills Safety Damar Hamlin Attempts Self-CPR, NFL Follows Suit with Mandatory Training”

In a bizarre twist of events, it has been revealed that the Buffalo Bills’ Damar Hamlin was actually attempting to perform Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) on himself when he collapsed on the field.

Desperate to get back in the game, the safety had apparently decided to take matters into his own hands, and attempted to revive himself with CPR. Unfortunately, his efforts were in vain and he ended up collapsing in front of the entire stadium.

In an effort to show solidarity with Damar, the entire NFL has agreed to implement mandatory CPR training for all players and staff.

“We want to make sure that something like this never happens again,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “CPR is a simple and effective way to revive someone in distress, and we want to make sure our players are equipped with the knowledge and skills to use CPR in the event of an emergency.”

The league has also announced that it will be donating money to the American Red Cross in order to help fund CPR training and awareness programs.

The entire Buffalo Bills organization is wishing Damar a speedy recovery, and hopes that he will be able to make a full recovery and return to the field soon.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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