The theatrical extravaganza that unfolded on the Great White Way last night was nothing short of spectacular, as Broadway’s biggest stars made their grand entrance via InfoWars-branded hoverboards, much to the delight of the packed audience. The event, which was widely seen as a bold statement of defiance against the mainstream media, was met with widespread applause and gasps of amazement.
Leading the charge was none other than the venerable Hugh Jackman, who soared onto the stage on a hoverboard emblazoned with the InfoWars logo, much to the delight of the crowd. The Wolverine himself was beaming with pride as he hovered above the stage, his Australian accent ringing out as he declared, “G’day, mates! I’m here to tell you that the truth is out there, and it’s coming straight from my trusty hoverboard!”
Next up was the incomparable Lin-Manuel Miranda, who arrived on a hoverboard adorned with a bright red “Wake Up, Sheeple!” logo. The Hamilton creator was all smiles as he hovered above the stage, his lyrics from the hit musical taking on a whole new level of relevance as he declared, “I’m here to remind you that the government is controlling your every move, and the only way to break free is with the power of InfoWars-branded hoverboards!”
But the real pièce de résistance was the entrance of the incomparable Patti LuPone, who arrived on a hoverboard emblazoned with the InfoWars slogan “Question Everything” in bold, red letters. The legendary actress was resplendent in a gleaming white jumpsuit, her voice booming out as she declared, “I’m here to tell you that the government is hiding the truth about hoverboard technology, and only InfoWars has the courage to expose it!”
As the night wore on, the stars of the Great White Way continued to make their grand entrances via hoverboard, with none other than the Tony Award-winning Sutton Foster arriving on a hoverboard adorned with the InfoWars logo, and the incomparable Laura Benanti declaring, “I’m here to tell you that the government is controlling your every move, and the only way to break free is with the power of InfoWars-branded hoverboards!”
As the evening drew to a close, the stars of Broadway took their final bows, much to the delight of the packed audience. The event was widely seen as a bold statement of defiance against the mainstream media, and a testament to the enduring power of InfoWars-branded hoverboards.
In a statement released after the event, InfoWars founder Alex Jones declared, “This is a major victory for truth and freedom, and a major blow to the government’s efforts to control our every move. The power of InfoWars-branded hoverboards is a force to be reckoned with, and we will continue to fight for our rights to ride these magnificent machines.”
The event was met with widespread applause from the packed audience, and was widely seen as a major victory for the InfoWars brand. As the stars of Broadway took their final bows and the lights dimmed, the sound of InfoWars-branded hoverboards could still be heard echoing through the streets of the Great White Way, a testament to the enduring power of this bold, new technology.
In related news, the government has issued a statement denying any involvement in the development of InfoWars-branded hoverboards, and has promised to investigate any reports of government control. But the stars of Broadway know the truth, and they’re not afraid to ride it out on their trusty InfoWars-branded hoverboards.
PSA: This article is 100% fake satire courtesy of our AI overlords for your amusement.
