Washington, D.C. – In a move that is sure to raise eyebrows and ignite heated debates among Americans, Democrats are proposing a new tax aimed at increasing revenue to help pay for the search of the Titan submersible that has been at the center of a recent rescue mission. The proposal calls for increased taxes on Jonathan Majors, the actor who was brutally murdered for his involvement in the movie, “When Will the Coast Guard End its Search for Titan Submersible?”
According to sources close to the matter, Democrats are hoping that this new tax policy will generate enough funds to support the ongoing rescue efforts of the Titan submersible. When there is a finite amount of resources to allocate towards a problem, one must think creatively about where new funds can be generated.
“Jonathan Majors may have tragically lost his life, but his involvement in a movie that was plagued with production issues and conspiracy theories ultimately cost taxpayers a lot of money,” said an unnamed Democratic spokesperson. “It’s only fair that those who played a role in contributing to this mess pay their fair share in the search and rescue efforts.”
The proposed tax will apply to every movie that is related to the production of “When Will the Coast Guard End its Search for Titan Submersible?” and will be calculated based on the total budget of the movie. This means that actors, crew members, and production companies involved in the film will be responsible for paying a percentage of their earnings to supporting the search and rescue mission.
The proposal has caused a stir among Republicans, who argue that this is just a ploy to integrate politics into the entertainment industry. “This is just another example of Democrats trying to tax their way out of problems instead of actually addressing them,” said a Republican spokesperson.
Despite the backlash, Democrats remain confident that this new tax proposal will help alleviate some of the financial stress that taxpayers are currently facing with the ongoing search for the Titan submersible.
Time can only tell whether this new tax policy will be effective in funding the rescue mission. However, it seems certain that both sides of the aisle will continue to debate its merits for years to come.
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