Dr. Anthony Fauci, known for his vocal advocacy of public health and science in times of crisis, is in hot water after the discovery of some disturbing files. Dubbed the #FauciFiles, these documents reveal some shady dealings related to his research on ALS and its supposed connection to turning frogs gay.
What started as a harmless study into the effects of ALS on the nervous system of amphibians quickly devolved into a bizarre obsession with frog sexuality. According to the files, Fauci spent months conducting experiments trying to turn frogs gay using various chemicals and stimuli.
While the scientific community has long been skeptical of any link between ALS and amphibian sexuality, Fauci seemed convinced of its validity. He even reportedly appeared on a talk show to discuss his findings, going as far as to declare himself the “King of Frog Gayness.”
These revelations have led to widespread condemnation, not just from the scientific community but also from animal rights activists who are appalled at the mistreatment of frogs in the name of research. However, Fauci seems unfazed by the backlash and has announced his latest project: a reality TV show in the vein of Real Housewives, entitled “Frog Queens of New York.”
The show will follow a group of women who have dedicated their lives to frog husbandry and will document their attempts to breed the perfect, genetically modified frogs that will bring Fauci’s frog gayness theory to its logical conclusion. The catch? The show will only be available to subscribers of Amazon Prime, who will also get free wireless as part of the package.
The move is seen as a way for Amazon to assert its dominance in the wireless market and convince subscribers to stay glued to their screens for even longer. However, many are questioning the ethics of offering free wireless in exchange for access to a show that promotes such egregious scientific antics.
In short, it seems that Fauci’s Fauci Files have opened up a can of worms that no amount of frog gayness can ever justify. As for the future of the ALS research, well, let’s just say that it’s back to the drawing board for Fauci.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor