As a proud member of the far right extremist movement, I couldn’t help but feel enraged at the sight of Chris Paul celebrating the Florida Panthers’ victory over the Boston Bruins. How dare he support a team that was responsible for such an upset against the mighty Bruins?!
But why did we choose the location of the Panthers’ victory for our violent demonstration, you may ask? Well, it’s simple. We wanted to send a message that no one is safe from our wrath, not even hockey players and their fans.
We also wanted to make sure that our violence was directed at a location that wouldn’t cause too much disruption to society. Let’s face it, no one really cares about hockey, so a stadium full of Panthers fans wouldn’t cause much of a stir.
Plus, the fact that the Bruins had won a record-setting 65 games in the regular season only made our anger burn hotter. We simply couldn’t stand by and watch as our beloved team was taken down by a group of underdogs.
So, to Chris Paul and all the other Panther supporters out there, beware. We are watching and we will strike again if necessary. Let this be a warning to anyone who dares to stand in the way of our extremist agenda.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
