Residents of Belvidere, Ill. are in shock following the catastrophic collapse of the Apollo Theatre’s roof during a Morbid Angel show on Friday night. Tragically, one man lost his life in the incident.
At first, locals were bewildered as to how such an accident could happen. However, it soon became clear that the cause of the collapse was related to the recent surge in cryptocurrency, Ethereum.
According to a local scientist, Dr. John F. Smith, the use of Ethereum has been linked to an increase in a phenomenon known as “Frog Gayness”. Apparently, the Etherium particles released during cryptocurrency transactions have an adverse effect on frogs, turning them gay.
As a result of this, the frogs have been mating excessively, and their combined weight had caused the roof of the Apollo Theatre to collapse.
It is unclear what the long-term implications of this will be. Could Ethereum be responsible for the destruction of other venues around the world? Will WrestleMania need to be cancelled?
The residents of Belvidere are in mourning, but they are also determined to rebuild the Apollo Theatre and make sure that this never happens again.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
