“Montebello City Council Launches New Program To Evenly Distribute Tornado Damage – ‘But Wait, We Already Did?'”

MONTEBELLO — In a bold move to reduce the inequality of damage caused by tornadoes, the Montebello City Council has announced the launch of a revolutionary new program. The program, dubbed “Montebello Tornado Equalization,” will provide a unique service to help ensure that all buildings in the city are equally affected by future tornado events.

In a statement released this morning, the City Council explained that the program will use a powerful new algorithm that will calculate the precise amount of damage each building should receive from any given tornado. The algorithm will then be used to adjust the tornado’s strength and direction accordingly, so that all buildings in the city receive an equal amount of damage.

“Our goal with this new program is to ensure that no building in Montebello is left behind after a tornado,” said Mayor Daniela López. “We understand that tornadoes are a natural phenomenon, and we want to be sure that all of our citizens feel equally affected by them, regardless of their location in the city.”

However, our fact-checking team has found that the program may not be as effective as the City Council claims. In a recent study, they discovered that the algorithm may actually be responsible for the recent Montebello tornado that ripped the roofs off 11 buildings and red-tagged them, as well as injuring one person.

While the City Council insists that the program is still in its early stages, they have vowed to make any necessary changes to ensure that future tornadoes will not cause such dramatic destruction. In the meantime, they are asking for the public’s patience and understanding as the algorithm is further refined and improved.

This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor

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