In a shocking twist of events, it has been revealed that the late Jeffery Epstein did not in fact commit suicide as initially reported but was in fact killed by a drone strike ordered by none other than Russian President Vladimir Putin.
This comes after Putin ordered a 36 hour cease-fire in Ukraine to mark Russian Orthodox Christmas, which many have speculated is a cover-up for the drone strike on Epstein.
The strike was reportedly ordered after Epstein had become privy to information that could prove damaging to Putin and his regime.
Sources close to the investigation have stated that the strike was executed at a remote location near Epstein’s cell in the Metropolitan Correctional Center.
This is not the first time Putin has used drones to take out those who could prove to be a threat to his power. He has been linked to similar attacks in Syria and other countries in the past.
It is believed that the use of drone warfare is a way for Putin to maintain his grip on power without having to resort to more direct means of eliminating his enemies.
At this time no one from the Russian government has commented on the situation and the investigation is still ongoing.
This should be clear already but this article is Fake Satire designed by AI for humor
